Toddler Bedtime Battles
As your little one gets older and begins to speak their mind more often, you may encounter some battles. This battles may occur around just about anything, but they can be particularly strong around bedtime. Kids are tired, parents are tired, and everything just seems to become…harder.
My top sleep tips for toddlers are to:
Keep a consistent bedtime routine (check out this post!)
Let kids make the little decisions while parents or caregivers make the big decisions.
You can read all about bedtime routines here, but for now - let’s talk about decisions. Toddlers love power, control, and predictability. When you’re at the end of a long day, it can be easy to give in to demands in an attempt to maintain your sanity. Instead of giving into whatever your toddler is demanding - have a plan. When you establish a solid bedtime routine, that part is easy. You do the exact same thing every single night. (Bonus tip - you also do a shorted routine at nap time). This signals to their brains and bodies that sleep is coming.
Now, you’ve established a routine. It’s time to explain to your toddler that they are going be able to make some choices around bedtime. For younger kids, I recommend keeping the choices between two options. As they get older, you can give them even more power in the decision making process.
Here’s the key - you make the big decisions, your toddler makes the small decisions. They have a sense of power and control and honestly - it will not make a difference in your routine which choice they make. Here are some examples.
Parents choose:
What time to start the bedtime routine.
When in the routine to brush teeth.
Are they taking a bath tonight? Just washing hands and face? No bath tonight?
How many books? Or a book and a song?
How you say goodnight and put your little one to bed.
Kids choose:
Which toothbrush to use - red or blue?
Which books to read. (Remember - parents choose how many, kids choose which books).
What pajamas to wear - stripes or animals?
Good night song (or whatever you have in your routine).
The biggest thing to remember is that parents make the big decisions, and kids make the small decisions. If you don’t have a bedtime routine, or if your little one has too much say in how it occurs - this will be a period of transition for you. Hold the boundaries, establish the routines and before you know it - those bedtime battles will be over.
Bonus tip: if you have an older toddler, creating a visual example of the routine can be really helpful. If the kiddos are younger, use pictures to show the order of the bedtime routine. Have them cross off each item as you complete it, or put a sticker next to each task that they successfully complete. Feel free to email me at nikki@nikkinelsonsleepconsulting.com and I’ll send you an example bedtime routine chart.