Middle-Of-The-Night Parties!
One question that I get very often is about middle-of-the-night wakings. I'm not talking about a child waking up and needing to feed, having a bad dream, or wanting to use the potty. I'm talking about a middle-of-the-night wake up where a child is up for hours and is ready to party. Oftentimes, this happens with a child who had previously been a very good sleeper and parents are baffled. It's exhausting for the parents – and ends up being exhausting for the child as well. These long periods of wakefulness can appear out of nowhere, but I have some suggestions that can sometimes have your child (and you, too!) back to sleeping through the night.
There are two reasons why this usually happens, and two questions that I ask parents when they share this concern:
Is your child falling asleep independently at the beginning of the night?
How much daytime sleep is the child getting?
Every child, and adults too, will wake up during the night. Most times we were able to put ourselves back to sleep without even knowing that we've been awake. If a child falls asleep independently at the beginning of the night, they can learn how to connect their sleep cycles on their own. They will eventually not to need parent intervention to fall back asleep. (If you need help teaching your child to fall asleep independently at the beginning of the night, there are several sleep training methods to try. I'd be more than happy to walk through the process with you). The second reason that we sometimes see these long periods of wakefulness is because children are either overtired or not tired enough at bedtime. It seems counter intuitive that being overtired would lead to these wakeful periods, but a rush of cortisol when they initially fall asleep can sometimes cause these middle-of-the-night parties. Conversely, sometimes getting too much daytime sleep can impact nighttime sleep. If your child is taking a solid nap during the day but you are experiencing these middle of the night wakeups, you may want to try cutting back their nap (even by just 15-20 minutes) to see if there is an improvement. Sometimes it just takes an adjustment of their daytime sleep schedule to see a change.
One final trick: If your toddler is falling asleep on their own but is having long periods of wakefulness during the night, try going into their room before the you (the parent) go to bed. Give them a quick kiss goodnight. It sounds a little crazy, but this is what we call the wake-to-sleep method. The goal is not to wake the child but to gently stir them so that they move into a new cycle of sleep. Learning how to connect sleep cycles will help to break the habit of this habitual nighttime waking. With this method you sometimes take their risk of waking them -. for most parents it's worth a shot.
If you have questions, want to adjust your child sleep schedule, or need a full plan to help your child fall asleep independently (and stay asleep!) it would truly be an honor to help. Email me at nikki@nikkinelsonsleepconsulting.comfor more information.